And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
It was not your ship but mine.
And it was your OTP on the line.
The writers fucked it up this time
Didnt they my dear
Didnt they my-
AT AGE 1
JENSEN: I TAUGHT MY SON HOW TO CRY PROPERLY. OKAY GO!
JENSEN’S SON: *CRIES ONE PERFECT TEAR*
JARED: I TAUGHT MY SON HOW TO MAKE PROPER NOISES
JARED’S SON: BARK!
MISHA: I TAUGHT MY SON HIS FIRST WORDS
WEST: WORLD DOMINATION!
AT AGE 3
JENSEN’S SON: THANK YOU FOR THIS KEN DOLL, DADDY
JENSEN: THAT’S NOT A KEN DOLL, THAT’S AN ACTION FIGURE OF ME
JARED’S SON: CAN WE PLAY MY FAVORITE GAME, DAD?
JARED: WHICH ONE?
JARED’S SON: THE ONE WHERE I GET TO TOUCH THE MOON.
JARED: OKAY GET ON MY SHOULDERS
WEST: DADDY, READ ME A BED TIME STORY
MISHA: OKAY, HOW BOUT, ‘PLEASE GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP’?
WEST: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?
MISHA: THAT’S THE TITLE OF THE BOOK.
if you’re ever having problems with a boy just remember that at least he never converted his entire country to protestantism just to break up with you
oh my fucking god
YE OLDE MONITOR
CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS SCENE BECUASE I AM ONE MILLION PERCENT DONE HERE.